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What the fuck is going on? I can't sleep for more than 5 hours now? This is stupid. The 8 hour phases never lasted long, but I don't think I've ever experienced this. How do I sleep for 5 hours, and feel like I've slept a long time? I passed out at 2:30 a.m. and woke up at 7:30. Man, I'm taking a nap later on. Fuck this shit!


I am so fucked up when it comes to sleep. My body doesn't know when to be tired or awake. I guess that can happen when you wake up at 8:30 p.m. one night, 12:30 p.m. the next day, then 4 p.m., and so on. Last night, I was painfully tired. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I got home. I could barely keep my eyes open at 2 a.m. I took a shower around 4, which kept me awake for a bit longer. I watched an episode of Six Feet Under while I dried my hair, got dressed, and brushed my teeth. Then I started another episode, but I was too tired to finish it. I fell asleep a little before 7:30 a.m. Now, you would think I would have to wake up to my alarm at 3:42 p.m. as tired as I was, but NO. I woke up at 12:30 p.m., completely unable to go back to sleep. 5 hours of sleep after barely being able to stay awake the night before??? Right now, I still wouldn't be able to fall asleep, but it feels like I should not be awake. I'm going to be tired when I get home from class. Speaking of class, I don't have anything new for the client, tonight. It's fine, though. The ad I'm working on is not for a sale that ends at a specific time. It's a very general ad, and he doesn't really have a due date for it. He told me not to rush at all. I don't have anything because I don't have the images he wants me to use. The images are being done by another group, and I don't have any of their email addresses. I have to get that info, tonight. They might not even be done with the images yet. We'll find out. I love having Wednesdays off. I just have to get through my toughest class, and then I get to crash again. The class itself is not hard. It's just the enormous work load. In fact, all of my classes are easy. They just give us way too much work to do. My teachers know this, too. My friday night teacher is also the chairman of the Graphic Design department, and she knows all about the classes and what they require. Last week, she asked me if I was dying in my Tuesday night class. I said "YES!!" practically before she could finish her sentence. She told me not to stress about it too much, and that the teachers should be pretty lenient, considering the work load for this quarter. She also told me to let her know if any teachers are not being lenient, and she will take care of it. I love her! I think I will talk to her every quarter before I register for classes. She has the inside info on who is teaching what. That way I can pick all the good ones. She is teaching at least 2 classes that I am taking next quarter, and I MUST get her!

Last night, I saw The Skeleton Key It was a good movie. It wasn't really scary, since it was PG-13. It just had a good plot, and was a bit suspenseful.

I could get into this one.

Movie Game

1. Pick fifteen films you love/thoroughly enjoyed.
2. Find screen captures for each film. If you can't find a still, pick a new movie.
3. Post the pictures with the rules; let your readers guess which still is from which movie. (Readers, no cheating. No google, no looking at my livejournal interests.)

I probably would have been pickier with some of my choices, if I weren't so tired, and wanted to spend more time on it.

Some may be difficult because the "movie still" is vague. Let me know if any are not working.

MoviesCollapse )
I talked to my Mom a couple days ago. She told me Miss Kitty, the cat she had been taking care of for the past couple of years, died. Her neck was broken when she was hit by a car. My Mom said it happened sometime after she got home from the hospital, and it was right in front of her house. Luckily, my Mom didn't find her in the road. I think the girl who hit her told Harry, and he brought Miss Kitty around the house to the backyard to be burried. While he was preparing a place for her, my Mom sat with Miss Kitty for awhile, and petted her. My Mom said "She didn't look bad at all. It looked like she had just fallen asleep." I didn't know what to say to her. She said she cried that whole day, and is still really sad about the whole thing. I told her how sorry I was, and that I wished it didn't happen. It's strange and scary how things can be taken away instantly. You get so used to having people and animals in your life that you forget how important they really are to you. Once they are taken away, you have to take a step back, and realize that that part of your life is gone, and you will no longer experience it. Then you have to try to adjust to that. I saw Miss Kitty the last time I visited my Mom, which was just a few days after she got home from the hospital. I used to see her every time I went to my Mom's house. She was always nearby, usually in the front yard. She was a very sweet cat, and opened up to people very quickly. I think she got brave enough to come up to me after my second time seeing her. I just hate how deaths like that can't be completely prevented. It will always happen. I don't like the fact that I can't control it, and it worries me. Things like that shouldn't exist.

I will really miss her.

Aug. 24th, 2005

Fucking hell! I need to start forcing myself to get up and turn everything off before falling asleep. Two nights ago, I only slep for about 4 hours because I had to go to class. Then, last night, I only slept for about 6 hours because I fell asleep with the lights on, and I couldn't sleep long. Getting up to turn them off wakes me up. Now I can't go back to sleep, and I know I'm going to be tired again later on in the afternoon. 6+4 hours should not = 2 nights. It should = a long night's rest.
I got my computer back!!! The Apple Store called at 8:45 a.m. this morning, and I picked up my CPU before me and Brian left for Tori Amos. The show was really good. I only recognized 4 songs because I was soooooo crunked. I think I had 4 double cranberry & vodkas + 1 Tequila Sunrise. I'm still not 100% functional right now. I couldn't even see Tori. Well, I did, but I saw two of her and they were both blurry. I think she was wearing white or something light colored. I got all emotional during "Hey, Jupiter" (the last song). Brian and I went to Bennigans after the show. I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten anything all day. After Bennigans, I I kept thinking about going back to the Performing Arts Center to see if Tori's bus was still there, but I figured it would be better if I just went home, since I was not completely sober. Omg we saw Angel at the show, plus this other girl that was with her, who looked really familiar! I definitely know her. I just couldn't remember her name. I'm glad I had a few drinks before I saw her. It's really weird seeing people from your past. She looked like she had cleaned up her act. I think if I had seen her again before we left, I probably would have run up to her, and hugged her, and said "I'm so glad you clean up your act!!" That was just the mood I was in at the time. I had to pee so badly during the show. It was really difficult passing the people sitting down, and not stepping on their toes. I think I went to the bathroom twice. The first time, I peed on myself a little in the stall. It didn't come out right because I didn't get in a good position. I didn't give a fuck. If anyone noticed and said anything, then I would have just told them that I spilled my drink. After awhile, it was dry. I'm sure it didn't take that long because it was a pretty small spot. It's not like it was a puddle. I did have some control!

I think I'm gonna take a shower or do something to sober up so I can start working on stuff later on tonight.
I have been M.I.A., and can't really talk now. My computer needs a new video card which = no monitor. I'm screwed for the next 5-10 business days. I'm at my Mom's right now. I have to work at school now. Impossible!
My Mom sent this email to me. I think she might be coming along nicely.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the
stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal
aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

Jul. 31st, 2005

Well, I fucked up the grocery store. I forgot that Publix closes at 9 p.m. on Sundays. I was thinking it was like any other day when they close at 10. So....pizza was just ordered.

My god! Why does Pizza Hut keep doing this to me?? They just called me to tell me that they don't have any more of the pizza I wanted, which was that new twisty crust shit. This is the 2nd time they have not had a certain type of crust, and I always have to switch to something plain. Fucking bitches!
The grocery store is definitely on the agenda today. I just don't want to go with my Dad. If I end up going with him, then I might as well brace myself for a shitty time or some smart ass remark. Last night, I got sushi, and I doubt I will order out again, tonight, unless something comes up so I should really go to the store. I would like to go to the Asian market place next to Office Depot, but I don't know what their hours are on Sundays.

I need to get that damn html coding in the email ad I'm working on, and end this project once and for all. I made more changes to the layout again, and sent the file to the client. I'm waiting for him to respond.

All of my concert tickets are here now.
FINALLY! I slept for a long period of time. I think the key is turning off my phones. My Mom called around 2:30. I wonder what's up with that. She probably wants me come over, but I shouldn't because I need to get some stuff done. I'm hungry. I have to go to the store today! I have absolutely nothing. The only thing I can eat now is dry cereal.
I'm tired. I only got about 5-6 hours of sleep as I mentioned before. Then I had to get pictures together for my Advanced Rendering & Illustration class, which is due....sometime in the future. I have to take a picture of something, and turn it into a vector graphic. Of course that's way too easy to be the only thing I have to do. We have to illustrate it in a way that looks like an art movement. I'm choosing pop art, and Robert Rauschenberg is my inspiration. It's weird because I had this image in my head of what I wanted to do. Then I looked up the art movements, and found this site that had examples of that particular type of art. Rauschenberg was listed under pop art, and some of his stuff looks exactly like what I want to do. I'm going to mention him when I present it so people in my class can look him up, and get a better understanding of the whole thing. I should probably mention that I found his art after I knew how I wanted my image to look. That way it won't look like I was just copying him. If I had known Rauschenberg, then I think I would have been his understudy because our tastes are almost identical! His name is familiar. A couple pieces of his work might have been at MOMA, but I don't remember what they were at all. I don't think they were big pieces. I'm sure I would have remembered, and taken pictures of it. The name is the only thing I recognize. So, I looked through all of my New York photos, and I put a bunch that I might use in a folder. I'm going to take things from several photos, and put it into one big picture. I'm going to add all kinds of textures, colors, and weird imagery in it. I should probably do a few sketches of this project, since it's basically going to look like a collage, and making the photos work with each other is going to be the tricky part. I like this project, this class, and my teacher. Luckily, I have her twice a week! She says she teaches her bachelor students differently from her associates because she feels like we should be trusted more, and should have more freedom to do what we want to do. That's also why I don't really know when this is due. She's not really specifying any deadlines at all. She just wants to see our progress each week, and then maybe....just maybe she will assign a due date. I love her!!

I started blabbing on and on about school, and completely went off track. So, yeah, I'm really tired. Little sleep. I escaped class around 8:30, when my teacher went to get a drink of water. No big deal. Almost everyone else was gone, too. Earlier today, my sister invited me to her house to have dinner with my Mom and a few other people. I told her that I would try to leave class as soon as I could, and hopefully I wouldn't get to her house too late. So, I got there around 9. Dinner was good. I love pasta salad. My brother-in-law drank sooooo much!! He fell asleep on the couch, where we were all at as well, and he woke up later on, and started talking nonsense. It was so funny! "My foot itches. Gotta use the bath. The cream works with the bath. Do you know how much itching cream costs??? Well....do ya??" Haha! Too much! My sister's friend got sick after tasting a bloody mary. She was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Then she left. I talked with my Mom about In Living Color a little bit before she left. Then it was just me and my sister, since my brother-in-law went to bed. We watched Shaun of the Dead. How lame was that? I mean...I got the humor. I understood that it was supposed to be stupid, but come on! It was just too dumb. I will say that it had its moments. On my way out of my sister's neighborhood, I saw the family of deer that I always see. I swear it's like the fucking Sound of Music every time I leave her neighborhood. I'm just waiting to accidentally hit Julie Andrews one of these days as I'm coming around a curve. "The hiiiiiiiiiills are aaa--BAM!!!" I'll keep a look-out.

This is about to end. I am STILL thirsty!! What the hell was in that food? I don't remember it being salty. I guess it's The L Word time, until I fall asleep.
I think I am just going to stay busy with work. Things are happening right now that I'm not happy with. I'm actually ok, though, and I'm thankful for that. I guess I'm stronger than I thought or at least a lot stronger than I was a few years ago. I sort of know how to deal with shit now, and I try my best to not let things get to me. First, it was that crap last night, and, today, I talked to my sister on the phone. We mostly talked about my Dad, and how there is no helping him. He is the type of person that is so stubborn, and thinks they don't need anyone. Also, the company that my brother-in-law, mother, and Dad work at is going down. It's not closing, but it's being taken over by a new president. My brother-in-law, who should have gotten the position because it's his birthright no longer had that right. His Dad (the former president) was required to retire by law or contract or something because of his age, which left him with no control over his company. Once he had to retire, my brother-in-law became just another employee who had to get the new position the way anyone else would have, and he didn't get it. The new president wants to change the company, and bring in new people, which could mean the end of my Mom and Dad's job. They think there is a place for my brother-in-law, since he's still young, and was so high up in the company anyway. So, I have all these thoughts going through my head right now about relationships, and financial stability. Nobody really knows what's going to happen. Oh, plus the new president of the company said that there might be a position for my brother-in-law in some other state. It's a possibility that my sister might move. She said she talked to my Mom about it, and my Mom fell apart. They have become really close over the past few years. My sister has always told me that my Mom was a different person before I was born, and she was really tough. They didn't have a good relationship then. These days my Mom is totally different from the stories I've heard. She has changed, and rebuilt her relationships with people. My sister isn't getting too upset right now because they still don't know anything yet. The relocating thing is just a possibility. My brother-in-law did say he was willing to do that, though. That's the scary part. If my sister leaves, then my Mom won't have anyone left because I doubt I will stay here either. My brother was the first to go, and my Mom could barely stand that. I think my Mom would go nuts because the only thing that matters to her is her family. Who would she have? That fucker she's living with? Ha! She would drop his ass in a heartbeat if that meant my sister living at least one state away. I think one state away would be enough to overthrow her relationship with him, if she actually had to make a weird decision like that....with a genie or something. I don't get to spend much time with my Mom because I'm so busy with school. My sister on the other hand gets to see her all the time because she doesn't work. She can easily see my Mom when her kids are in school. That has become a big part of my Mom's life, and if my sister leaves, then my Mom will no longer have that. I think I'm going to end this now. I'm not going to worry about any of this. I'm glad I'm not that upset. I'm good. It's just on my mind, and I'm talking about it.

Also, why can't I sleep? I keep waking up around 11 a.m. like it's some kind of cut-off point. I went to bed after 5 a.m., and still woke up that early. Lately, I've been able to force myself to sleep longer because I don't want to be tired in my night classes. I couldn't do it today, though. So, I think I slept no longer than 5 or 6 hours, but I feel like I slept all day. I know this won't last forever, and I will start feeling the opposite. I will sleep for longer periods of time, and still have a hard time waking up. I always go through these damn cycles.
"We're a group...you know...like a clique....and we're snappy....like 'clique.' Also, there's 5 of us...so...we're Clique5."

Is this the extent of the creative process for coming up with a group name? Jesus! Fucking disposable garbage!

I need Cheezits.

Jul. 27th, 2005

I wonder when I will fall asleep. It's been at such early times, lately. So early that there's really no need to set my alarm, since I have night classes. The only thing it does is scare the shit out of me, when it goes off, and I'm sitting here at my computer. Tomorrow, before class, I need to take some time to think of ideas for my Thursday and Friday nights' projects.

I think it might be The L Word time.
I re-dyed my hair, tonight. It turned out ok...I guess. I'm still not fully happy with it because some of my hair is not taking the color. I don't think I'm doing a good job of fully covering all of my hair with it. Also, the area where it's not as red just happens to be in the back, which is the most difficult area for me to see. I tried putting a shitload of color on the back, which is what I did back in the day when I dyed it black. It always worked then, but this red hair color has a strange consistency. It's soooo damn thick, and almost impossible to get through your hair. Root touch-ups would be easy with this stuff, but covering long hair with it is really difficult. So, as a result, all of my hair underneath is a cherry red, and the same on top, except the cherry red on top fades into a lighter red in the back. Oh well. I still like it. I just wish all of it was the same red because I really like the color. It's the first red (that I like) that has worked for me without having to bleach my hair white. Afterwords, my hair was really dried out. I will never use another deep conditioner by Ion again. I used that brand a long time ago, and I liked it for awhile, until it sort of stopped working. I didn't think I'd have a problem with it, years later. I should have just used my Pureology conditioner like I have been after dyeing my hair. My hair was still really dry after using the Ion stuff, and I had to get back in the shower to use my Pureology conditioner. Then I had to use a lot of conditioning serums. Because of that, my hair looks greasy, even though I just washed it. Haha.

I got an email from the client I'm working with at school. He wants another project completed by next Tuesday. I'm NOT doing this one! This is the 3rd week, and we are supposed to switch group roles after two weeks. The problem is the client keeps asking me to change things that he easily could have mention weeks ago. First, he asked me to make 12 changes, which I did. Last night, I showed him the revised email ad, and then he asked me to change things to it that were there since day 1. Therefore, even though this first project should have ended last night, I am still going to have to work on it. Picky, picky, picky!! What pisses me off about this next project is that it's easy! It's not fair that the next head designer in our group is going to get some little shit assignment, when the one I'm doing is consuming my life. The next project is to take a web interface design that the client has already created and make it a functional website. That is so fucking easy! There isn't going to be any "Change this, and change that" with the 2nd project. The links will either work or they won't. That's it! There are supposed to be 6 projects that this client wants our group to complete, and there are 4 people in my group. That means the role of "head designer" will come back to me at some point. I think I'm going to try to avoid getting another big assignment by telling my group members that we need to make it fair. If I end up with another big assignment, then another group member, who got a smaller assignment, needs to help me. That's fair.

Is there anything to watch on Wednesdays??? Jesus!
I'm in a weird mood. I probably could have left this blank, and just changed my mood icon to "weird."
I'm getting so tired of this early schedule shit. I can't seem to stay up late, and I also can't sleep late. I'm falling asleep before midnight, and, no matter how late I stayed up the night before, I always wake up just a few hours later. I can fall asleep at 11, and wake up at 5, feeling like I've slept all day. I have to force myself to keep sleeping so I can wake up at a more normal hour. Today, I actually slept until 9:30. I'm not sure when I fell asleep. I don't like mornings, and I'm reduced to watching Charmed or </i> Regis Live</i>. Today, I need to get more shit done. Do I get to enjoy my day off? Of course not.

Good Times!

Hopefully, this will make certain people laugh....

Oh, man, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! Rebekah just left. We were supposed to watch The Others, but she wanted to look through my Senior Yearbook. I went in the spare room, picked up a Gaither Yearbook, and took it back to my room. When we started looking through it, we realized it was the Junior one. I completely forgot that I even had that one. We decided to continue to look through it. My throat still hurts from laughing so hard. Rebekah thought she would end up going into labor. Good thing that didn't happen. Would the people at the dry cleaners be able to get that out? I was very surprised at how many people I recognized. I don't remember recognizing anyone in the senior yearbook. I've looked through that one with Rebekah before, and she would always ask if I knew this and that person. I'd never know. I must have picked out 25 people from the junior one, though. They weren't all people that I knew personally. A lot of them were just people I would see in the hallways every day or people that I just barely knew. For some reason, Rebekah runs into all of these people even now. She said they all look the same. Since my senior year, I've only seen three people that I knew in high school, and they were all people that were in my group of friends. I've never seen any of those random people that I recognized from the yearbook. Weird. They all still live around here, too. Rebekah said this one guy lives right down the street from me. It was creepy listening to the things she knew about them. "She got pregnant." "He's a millionaire now." You don't ever imagine people in high school that way. The pictures were hilarious! I'm still laughing just thinking about it, especially when I ran into "No-Neck's" picture!! Haha, Terese!!! After seeing her picture, I thought "That's so mean," but you know what? We could all laugh because she was a slut! Oh, Terese, I found Blair's photo! 509-1300!! That porno should have been made! I think the best of all was looking at the things people wrote in the back of my book. Man, that took me back!! There are people in there that I don't even remember! Who the hell is Christine Gardner??? She said she was in Mrs. Brimm's class with me, and I looked at her photo, but I don't remember her at all. Then someone named "Disney Freak" signed my book. WHO???? Then I looked at his photo, and remembered him. Julianne and Terese took up the most room in my book. Here are some highlights that I remembered, while looking at the book, and reading the signatures in the back:

Channel 1 at Brian's house
Brian's Mom baking cakes when we were tripping
The Computer Quiz Wiz (right, right, wrong, no, yes!)......"Is Benny gay?" --"Yes."   "Is Gobble hot?" --"Wrong!"
Miss Piggy's fat!
"That God damn alarm that went off when I (Terese) was trying to sleep, and you (me) and Brian fucking with me, while playing Street Fighter."
"Don't forget 'The Chaser'"
Brian's blue chair
Vodkaccino!! <---that's what we called it!!
That cartoon with the panda bear that came on early that one morning after coming down--Terese: "This is stupid!"  Panda: "No it's not."
Cow and Chicken
Benny's mini tape recorder
"iiit's aaa duuuuck!"
"I am really...fucking high on drugs."
"Klease, come in!"
"Who left that stinky load?? Eresetay! Eresetay!"
Brian's Mom's missing ring
Brian's blanket (E.T. a.k.a. Mother Theresa)
That foreign girl in my Typing class that couldn't pronounce my name so she called me "Marsh."
Mike 23
The Penguin

The list could go on. There are others that we all know, but I wanted to mention some of the ones that aren't brought up too often.

What the fuck is up with y'all's school pictures??? Brian, what were you thinking??? Benny, what were you thinking??? Julianne, what were you thinking??? What the fuck were we all thinking??? I'm glad I didn't take my picture that year. It's so worth it, though. Seeing those pictures again is hysterical!! Hmm.......I have a scanner.......Haha! Maybe some other time.

Oh, and nice illustrations, Terese. In your words "Because of this Fuck-head (pointing at 'Disney Freak's' writing) I must continue the rest right here!! Because you drew nudity in my yearbook, I'm gonna fuck yours up!"

I think we have some of the best yearbooks. Ours are like documentation of memories with artwork included! Other people's are like "Have a great summer and stuuufff, aaand, like, call me sometime!! Friends 4-eva.  K.I.T."

Ok. I'm going there....Collapse )
Now I'm waking up at 7:30 a.m.??? This sucks. I should take a nap sometime in the afternoon to fix this shit. My weekend has flown right by because of this early schedule. When you stay up late, it feels like your weekend last much longer. It's already Sunday! I'm glad I don't have class on Mondays. Still no email from Brian C. Still can't move on with the project. If I don't get a response sometime late in the afternoon, then I am going to call the client directly.

I need to go to the grocery store, today. We have nothing. Last night, I had Cheerios for "dinner."

I got more red hair dye, last night. I might as well re-dye my hair, today. Hmm....I might wait until Monday night to do it, since Tuesday is my first school day of the week. That would be one less day of fading for me.
Oh, man, this group project crap sucks! We don't understand what our client is talking about in 3 of the changes he wants us to make. There are 12 total, and I just finished the other 9. I can't progress any further, until I know what he wants in the other 3. After I get this email ad the way the client wants, I have to slice it up, and take it into Dreamweaver to make it like a functioning website. I was expecting an email from Brian C. (our group's project manager), yesterday, no later than today. We discussed this, last Thursday, and I still don't have a response! I just called him, and the reason why we haven't gotten a response from the client yet is because Brian C. still hasn't emailed him our questions! This really sucks. I can't contact the client because the class rules state that the project manager is to be the only one to email the client. Otherwise, if everyone could email him, then he would be bombarded with emails. I am doing all the work in this project. I'm even telling our project manager what to say in the emails. This is taking up my entire weekend, while everyone else is doing whatever they want. I talked to one girl in our group about an hour ago, and then she had to go because her friend was coming over to pick her up. When I called Brian, it sounded like he was at a bar. Here I am, sitting in front of my monitor, working on this project on Saturday afternoon. They besta watch they backs cause each of our grades is based on the other group members' opinion!!! I will totally slam their asses!! The grading is kind of weird. First, the group members grade each other. Then the client and my teacher looks at the grades we gave each other, and give us their own grades, in their opinion. Then they average those grades together. So, I should get an A because everyone in my group knows I'm doing everything. Their grades are gonna be slippin,' though. Don't fuck with me or I will fuck you up.....or at least your grades!!!

I need to take a shower soon so I can go back to Sally's to get more of that red hair dye. "I'm goin' back ta Sally's...ta Sally's...ta Sally's!"
Well...hmm...I wonder what will become of my schedule now. Last night, I couldn't decide if I wanted to do my paper before bed or vice versa. I ended up falling asleep around midnight. I woke up about 100 times because I wasn't really that tired to begin with, and my tv was still on. I gave up at 5 a.m. So, now I can work on my paper, but I wouldn't consider the sleep I got that great so I will probably be tired at some early time before class. Great.

I think I would like to go to the Horrorpops concert at the State Theater on Saturday, September 24th. Hey, right before the New York trip! I've never heard them, before getting an email from Ticketmaster about it. I'm not that interested by any means, but It's only $10, and it seems like it might be entertaining.

I know I mentioned that my Threebrain.com shirts arrived, yesterday, but I don't think I mentioned my Tori Amos tickets arriving, too. Yayyy!

I think I need a coke with Grenadine now. :o)

I just saw the new Killers video. The shower scene doesn't hurt at all! It should have shown more, but wet always works!
I got my shirts from Threebrain.com, today! Yayy! I think I'll wear my "Gonads and Strife" shirt, tomorrow.
I have to write a fucking paper, tonight. Fucking blows! I'm in school for graphic design. I shouldn't have to write papers. I don't give damn if it's about a designer or artist. It's bullshit, and nobody cares.
Brian ended up leaving class early so we went to The Bravery show. The walk to the Hard Rock fucking blows! We got there late, and went up to the ticket booth, but it was closed. We thought we were screwed. Then I went up to the guys in front of the doors, and asked what we were supposed to do. They told us to just go in. Sweet! Free entry!! Then we got two drinks. We saw them play about 6 or 7 songs, and it was going to be over, until they said they had to redo 2 songs, since it was for tv, and they had technical difficulties during those particular songs. 2 extra free songs for us!! We really lucked out with the whole thing. After the show, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, and got crunked. We had a nice, bald, female waiter. The Purple Haze drinks are really good there! Then we came home.
I seem to be finding myself back here a lot lately. I am in such a bad mood, right now. I know why I don't ever talk to my father. I've always known, but it's nice to be reminded of how accurate my assumptions are. It's because everything he says to me is either hurtful or technical. When I say "technical," I mean it's never anything nice or personal. It's always something completey meaningless like "You need to clean that" or "You need to do this to your car." Just bullshit like that. Shit I already know, and will get done without his meaningless "reminders." He knows this, too. I think it's just programmed in parents' brains that it is their job to nag and nag, even if they know that it isn't helping anything. This is why I find myself trying to avoid his presence. I know that if I run into him, I'm going to get some remark that is going to ruin my day. This happens almost every time I see him. I hear from my sister all the time about how it's sad that we don't really speak. Well, duh!! Like I don't know that, and like I can do anything about it! It's not my fault that he is completely mechanical, and extremely difficult to get along with. He's always been like that, he always will be, and he doesn't even want to change. I swear if my sister called me, right now, I think I would end up bitching her out. I know she would ask me how my Dad is doing, I would say "I don't know," she would act like I'm not doing anything to change that, and I would just go off from there. Before I came in here, my Dad made some insulting crack about my hair. I don't even remember what it is now because I've already deleted it. That's what I have to do with his remarks. If I don't, then it will eat away at me for the rest of the night. It's weird how your mind has different ways of coping with things. I just know that his remark was made because he can't even begin to understand anything about people who don't look plain and boring. Hell, I AM plain, and boring!! It's just hair!! Even that is completely ridiculous to him, though. I need to get out of here so badly. This is not a good environment for me to be in. It's one thing to get shit from strangers, but when you get shit from your own father, you know you shouldn't be here. Why does my Mom have to be living with a complete douche bag??? She asked me, just last week, if I wanted to come live with her. I wanted to say "Yes" so badly, but I just think I would end up being more miserable over there because of that shithead than I would be here with my Dad. I'm not 100% sure, but I am almost positive.

I don't even want to go to The Bravery concert now. It all depends if Brian gets out of class early enough to go. I no longer have any interest in going by myself. I just want to go to sleep, and wait for my phone to ring.
I went to Sally's to get some hair color remover. While I was there, I looked around to see if they happened to have any good hair color. They actually sell Manic Panic hair dye, and they had Vampire Red, but I didn't get it. That shit is burgundy. No wonder I was told that it was the strongest of their reds, and would cover anything. Fuck that. I bought this kick ass shit by L'oreal Excellence called HiColor HiLights. It can even be used on dark hair, and there is no pre-lightening required. Therefore, I don't have to have fucking white hair for it to work. I like it. It's the closest to the kind of red that I want. I might be even more satisfied later, when I buy more. I bought one box, and it wasn't enough. I didn't realize it would be a small amount of color, at least for me. Anyways, I was only able to really cover the top of my head. I had a little left, and put it on the rest of my hair, and I tried my best to comb all of it through to cover as much as possible. The result was as I expected. The top of my head is the red it should be, and the rest of it is a little lighter. That's fine for now. I could go back, and buy a couple more tubes, but that's a lot of hassle in one day. I think I will give my hair a break for a bit, and dye it again sometime this weekend. I'm just glad I found a red that I liked, and worked. The only disadvantage is that I was told that it doesn't last long. The lady at Sally's said a minimum of 3 washes. I hope that is the worst case scenario, and it actually lasts longer on my hair. I would think that if it only lasted 3 washes, then a lot of it would have come out, after rinsing/washing it out in the shower. It didn't, though. The water was barely red.
Note to self:

Nine Inch Nails tickets go on sale, Saturday. Do I want seats or da flo'?
It was such a bitch, getting up, today. Even though I only slept for about 3-4 hours, a couple days ago, I still didn't feel tired as early as I should have. I think my body is just confused, right now. I ended up staying up late again, but it didn't affect my schedule because I knew I had to do something, today. I woke up, after sleeping for about 3 hours again, and went to school to turn in my application. The guy who I have to pay was not there, but Matt, someone else who is coordinating this trip, took my application. Tomorrow, I have to pay the other guy, before I go to class. After turning in my application, I went to Best Buy to look at shelves. They didn't have the one I was looking for. I think I saw it at the Dale Mabry store. I didn't care, though. They had this other shelf that holds 240 DVD's, just like the one I originally wanted. The only I don't like is it's black. That doesn't go with the colors in my room at all. I know they say "Black goes with everything," but I think that's mainly for clothes. The material looks like it's wood. I want to paint it white, since the color scheme in my room is blue walls with contrasting, white furniture. If it's made of some other material, like plastic, then I will just buy some white spray paint for that material. I bought two shelves in case I needed a second one, which I probably will. I can always return it, if I don't. There are also no tools required to assemble it. It looks really simple to do. I think I'll go to that now. Perfect timing, too! I'll put one of the shelves together, while I watch the Willy Wonka special on VH1, which starts at 8 p.m. (4 minutes).

P.S. I also bought, like, 4 DVD's. One is a Cure concert! Sweet! I couldn't resist, since I was listening to them on the way there. They didn't have any copies of Teen Witch!!!!!! They were supposed to get them on the 12th, and the lady said they never came, but the other stores had them. Dale Mabry has 4 copies, but I ain't goin' down there, chiiild!!

Jul. 13th, 2005

Teen Witch was released, yesterday! Time for some 80's fun! Freaked was released, too!

I forgot to mention the DVD shelf situation. A little over a month after ordering it from that site, I still didn't have my shelf. I emailed them twice, and finally, after days, I got a response. They said they were just informed that the manufacturer that would have sent it to me no longer carried it. Thanks a lot! I don't have class, today, but I'm going to school anyway to turn in my New York Trip application, and pay the first fee. After that, I will go to Best Buy to pick up those movies, and see if the store has any of those DVD shelves in stock. I know they sell them there. I've seen them, but I never checked to see if they had any boxes of them on the shelves. It's too bad that the whole thing fell through because I was looking forward to getting the shelf over my break so I could start organizing my DVD's. I think I'm going to be very busy this quarter. Hopefully, my next two classes are not going to be time-consuming because my Tuesday night class is going to be a time whore.
Who is going to The Bravery show at the House of Blues on Wed, July 20th? Hmm?.....Anyone?......Hmm?
I'm ordering this shirt. It's fantastic!!
one, too!

Oh, and this one, too.

I might go to Kash 'N Karry to get some ice cream. I want Peanut Butter Cups from Ben & Jerry's.

Pass that dutch....I mean...stone!

Okayyyy. I just got off the phone with my Mom. She was taken to the emergency room, last night, after a friend's birthday party. She has kidney stones. She said she's passed one already, but there is another one in her left kidney. She said the pain is indescribable. That's what I've heard. Those things have always scared me because, from what I know, you can't really do much to prevent them. My Mom said her doctor mentioned some foods you can avoid that will help, but I don't think there is really any guarantee of full prevention. It's kind of like cancer. You either get it or you don't.

She left a message on my machine, but I could barely hear it because there has been something wrong with the volume on it for some time now. I don't know what's wrong with it. I just know it needs to be replaced because I can barely make out any messages on it. I literally have to put it right against my ear just to make out a few words. Then I try to piece together the words, hoping it will make some sense. In my Mom's message, I noticed that she sounded bad, and I heard "emergency room," and "just got home." Right now, she is doped up on Percocet. She couldn't think of the medication, at first. She said "You'd know it, if I told you." Haha! My Mom knows me pretty well in that department. I started naming all kinds of pain killers, until I guessed the right one. She told me everything that happened, and then I tried to distract her from the pain she was in. I think that's what I always do in situations like this. First, I listen to the person's problems, and give them advice, which I'm really good at. You can't just change the subject without giving feedback because then it seems like you weren't listening or you just don't give a shit, which is bad, especially when you do care. I always care about what people tell me so this isn't like a formula that I follow just to get me through the conversation. I know these things because people have done these things to me, and it really lets you know who doesn't give a shit about you. Anyway, I asked her about her 4th of July. She said she heard that my Dad was taking a couple weeks off of work soon (probably starting next week), which I didn't know about. I always find out those things when I notice that he is home when he isn't supposed to be. Then I told my Mom that I was starting school next week, and that I was hoping I would be able to go on the New York trip. About halfway through telling her that, she says "I'm just looking at my legs." I was like ".....?.....What??" Then she started mumbling "Ohhhh...noooo" I'm like "WHAT???" She said "I think this Percocet is doing something to me." Haha! I said "Yeah, that's probably a good thing." Then she told me she was really sleepy, and wanted to lay down. So that was that. Even though she sounded like she was freaking out on the Percocet, I'm going to assume that she will be fine. I'm not too experienced in seeing my Mom on medication. The only other time was when she was taking Morphine for this operation she had. Actually, I didn't see her on it. She just told me a story about when she took it, and she was definitely happy. I'm not really sure how she reacts to drugs in general. Maybe the Percocet is scaring her a bit. It's going to rid her of her pain, though, so I'm sure she will get over it. Besides, she is just going to pass out anyway.

Jul. 10th, 2005

School is starting soon. Ick. I neeeeed to wake up earlier, today. I mean....you see what time it is? I'm still up. I don't have class on Mondays, though. Yayyy! Last night, I saw Dark Water with Brian and his Mom. I liked it. The movie didn't thrive on scares. I think it was more plot driven with a few jumpy scenes. Plus, I love Jennifer Connelly. She has always been one of my favorites since I was a kid. When I got home, I decided to dye a test strand of my hair Red Passion by Manic Panic. I had ordered it awhile back along with Pillarbox Red. I had used all of Pillarbox, but still had some of Red Passion left over. I had only used these colors on areas of my natural hair color so the results weren't that dramatic or anything. Both colors pretty much just added a red tone to my brown hair. Last night, I wanted to see what it would look like on the blonde parts of my hair. It looked like a shade of cotton candy. Good thing I decided to do a test strand; however, I think the point of doing a test strand is to keep it out of sight, and not put it near the front of your head. Haha!! Oh well. I'm a moron. I knew exactly what I was doing, though. I just think I was overly confident that I would like it, and end up doing the rest of my hair afterwords. I washed it about 5 times with my clarifying shampoo. It got a lot of it out, thankfully. After that ordeal, I decided it was time to restock on my Pillarbox Red, since I know that one is Red. I also got Flaming Red, and Infra Red. I'm not sure which red I will choose, when they arrive, or if I will do a mixture, but, needless to say, it will be red. :o)

I'm tired now. Hopefully, I will be able to wake up before 5. That wouldn't be a lot of sleep, and I would be able to go to bed earlier, tomorrow. So far, I have not been able to get up. I think I've tried 3 days in a row now. We'll see what happens.
I ordered muh Tori tickets. Row O already???? I lost about 3 rows just by messing around on Ticketmaster for a couple of minutes. First, I looked for tickets in the Orchestra, and I got Row L. Then I looked for the best available anywhere to see if it considered the Orchestra to be the best, and I got Row O.  Oh well. Whatever. Also, the show is on a Thursday, and I have a night class. It will be about halfway through the quarter. Hopefully, I just won't have anything due that day. If I do, then I will just tell my teacher that I will be out of town, and I will turn it in before the due date. I've done that a few times now. They always accept it. They have to because that happens in the real world, and that school is all about being realistic, and doing things the way they really work.

If anyone hasn't seen this movie Freaked, then you should see it. That movie is completely insane, and on crack! About halfway through it, I started to recognize some scenes, and I realized that I had probably seen some of it when I was a kid. It was released in 1993 so I was 13. Anyway, it's great. I looked for it on Amazon, and it's actually just now being released on DVD, July 12. What a coincidence!! It looks like it has a lot of good extra features on it, too.

I can hear the wind blowing outside. Around 7 a.m. the sky turned dark, and it began to pour, all in a matter of seconds. It seemed like the hurricane was hitting, and then it was all quiet again, just a few minutes later. Weird. It was like mother nature throwing a hissy fit, and then being tranquilized.
So...I have been informed that Nine Inch Nails are coming. They are playing at the St. Pete Times Forum. Fucking hell! Big shows are no fun anymore....unless you are seeing someone/something so massive that it's ok....like Madonna....or Prince. I doubt the TD Waterhouse Center in Orlando is any smaller. I don't even know what that is, though. So....I guess I'm going to be paying $50 to see a big screen, and listen to some tired songs, and songs I've never heard. Fucking Dresden Dolls are no longer opening either. Now it's Queens of the Stone Age? I guess I will wait for those two songs......or show up late.   :oD   Anyway, it's a show. Whatever. Maybe it will be more interesting than the last one.

Who else is coming? There are at least a couple. I just need to think. I know one of them is Tori Amos at the Performing Arts Center, which should be cool. I've never seen a concert at that place. Ohhh I think the other shows are just the ones that I've mentioned before like The Killers. Hot Hot Heat is also coming. Oh! The Bravery! They are coming. That's the other new one, and at the State Theater, too!! Sweet!! Small place, strong drinks!!!!

I'm looking at Ticketmaster, and The Bravery at Orlando is titled "MTV Taping: The Bravery." So, I guess that one is being filmed. I didn't know they were playing there, too. I should go to bo'f!! $12, and I LOVE The House of Blues!! Big place, nice place, great drinks!!

Tori Amos................$39.50-42.50
Nine Inch Nails.........$34-44?
The Bravery
     - Orlando.........$12
     - St. Pete..........$13-15

Shit! Tickets for Tori went on sale, today. I need to order mine.
The New York trip seems to be falling into place so far. I got a response from Phil Bulone, the guy taking the applications, and he said that 10 spots were added. I have to pay an additional $50 because it's past the due date, which I didn't know about. It was June 17 or something. Also, I found out that you can pay additional costs for a room with less people. That was a big question on my mind. I didn't want to share a room with 3 strangers. You can, if you want to. The cheapest is for four people in a room with two beds. No thank you. I'm getting the room for two people with two beds, thank you very much. I think that cost is almost $800. That's still a good price for an entire trip to New York for four days. When I went to New York a few months ago, our hotel bill alone was $800. For this trip, however, that cost also covers plane tickets, and entrance fees to all the museums and sites. The only things I have to pay additional costs for are cab fares, food, and any shopping. I am turning in my application as soon as possible. I hope everything works out.

I can't seem to wake up when I need to. I'm waking up in the evening sometimes, even when I set my alarm. I can't help it. I don't want to experience the lack of sleep on my break. I do need to wake up earlier, though. I don't have the option of getting anything done, when I wake up this late. Turning in that application is one of the things I need to do, and I know he is not going to be in his office that late.

Brian was over here when the bombing in London reached the news. We were watching tv, and all of a sudden there was breaking news on every station. I'm not going to talk about that now, though.
For the 4th of July, I went to Channelside with Brian and his Mom, and saw probably the best fireworks show I've ever seen. You know that you've seen something impressive when you leave, saying "That was probably the best fireworks show I've ever seen!" We also got some raspberry long islands. Yum. This weather is just not working for me. It's difficult for me to enjoy events like that when they take place outside. I think I'm cold blooded (not at heart, just in a physical way). I did my best to block it out, though. It was fun. After that, we went to Bennigans on Dale Mabry. I got two drinks (Emerlad Isle Ice Tea and Margatini). All of my drinks have been weak the past few times I've gone to restaurants. The last time I had a strong drink at a restaurant was about a week before the school quarter ended, which, I guess, was a little over 2 weeks ago. Because of that, I came home and made a REAL raspberry long island. For once, my homemade drink was GOOD. Brian thought so, too. That's probably only because we had alread been drinking. I made a couple of them. Then I just started mixing stuff that was in the fridge like berry vodka, gin, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice. That was good, too. I made two of those as well. We got crunked, watched my Scissor Sisters DVD, and fantasized about Jake Shears. At Bennigans, Brian's Mom spilled her water all over us (mostly on me). My pants were really wet. Then, a few minutes later, out waitress spilled an entire table's worth of drinks on the floor. It fell off the edge of a wall, while she was putting orders in the computer. We were talking, and then KABOOOOOM!!!!!! A "CAUTION--WET FLOOR" sign went up. Then, after we were done, Brian and went to the bathroom to wash our hands, and there was another one of those signs over a puddle of "liquid" (or something) on the floor. At that point, we felt like the rest of the night was cursed with accidents, so we thought it would be best to leave. We did. At Channelside, I saw at least 4 big ass lesbians. :oD Yuuuuum. I also saw an enormously cute, gay couple!!! YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!! I almost went up to them just to say that ("You are an enormously cute couple" or just "YUUUUUUUUUUUUM") Either one would have gotten my point across. They were such a distraction, while the fireworks were going off. They walked in front of me, and the fireworks disappeared. Anywayyy, this is becoming too much work to type because the screen is still blurry, and I'm having to correct too many typos, in order to make this readable.

Over and out, cracktaculuhs.

Seth Green is kissing Willow on Buffy. Ewwwwww.

P.S.  I burned my thumb a little bit, while baking cheesesticks.  :o(  It still hurts. Helloooo Neosporin!


Jun. 28th, 2005

I just checked my grades again. All A's! 3.84 GPA, bitch! I'm glad Matt gave me an A in 3D Modeling. He's a great guy. He helped me with the final exam just like he did with the mid-term. The final had the same questions except for one. It was something like "What does UCS stand for?" The test was open book, and I found the CS part. I think it was Cooperative System. I told him I couldn't find the "U," and he said "What are people who do drugs called?" Then I started calling out terms. "Junkies? Druggies? Crackheads?" I finally got it. I don't remember anyone ever calling me that before, but the answer was "User." Why other people didn't ask him for answers, I don't know. So many people turned in that 9-question test with empty blanks. Dumb dumb dumb!

I got a lot of fruit at Publix, tonight. Strawberries, blackberries, and pineapple. Hell yeah! I also got some ice cream, and I made a Godiva Liqueur shake when I got home. That shit was the bomb! More of those are in the near future.....like, tomorrow. :oD
I feel better now, and I haven't taken a shower yet. I'm about to, though. I think Publix closes at 10, which sucks. Winn Dixie stays open until 11, unless they changed it. I don't like that place, but I wonder if I will choose it anyway. Otherwise, I'd have to go to Kash 'N Karry all the way on Dale Mabry.

On the agenda for the next two weeks:
❶ Go to Post Office to return those shoes
❷ Take car in to be looked at
❸ Get hair cut and possibly colored
❹ Exchange boxers at University Mall
❺ Have fun/make the most of my time off

Shower time.
I feel strange, today. Some kind of sleep hangover? When I woke up, I didn't feel energized like you are supposed to. I just felt kinda crappy. I think I need a shower and some food. Sometimes the smallest things can make you feel better without heading straight for the meds. Not that there is anything you can take for this type of feeling.

I woke up reaaally late. At first I woke up a little after 1 p.m. I can't remember if that was because of my phone ringing or not. I went back to sleep, and didn't get up again until 4:45. I guess that's the hangover part.

There was another shark attack, today (I think it happened today). People need to stay out of the water. Most people think they are so safe doing the simplest things in the water. That's exactly what this person was doing--something simple, like fishing. No boogie boarding, no surfing. Just standing in waist deep water, fishing, and his leg was nearly taken off. This is what public swimming pools are for, if people don't already own one. As far as fishing goes, go to a fucking lake.

I should go to Publix, tonight, and get some gallons of vanilla and chocolate ice cream so I can put this Godiva Liqueur to use. Right now, it's just sitting in my fridge. Mmmmm liqueured shakes!

I keep forgetting to call my school to ask about the New York trip. All I know is that it's somewhere around $600, and you fill out an application to go. I also know some details as far as what it pays for, but I have no idea what the hotel is or if you need to share a room with someone. I should go, tomorrow.
I just checked my grades, and, so far, the only class on there is Advanced Materials, which is an A. It's funny how an entire letter grade, which happens to be an A, only raises my GPA by .01, but anything lower than that fucking kills it. That system is so fucked. I know I'm getting an A in photography because I don't think I got anything lower than that on anything in that class. The only one in question is 3D Modeling. I really have no idea if I will get an A or B in that class because I missed 3 days, and had a rough beginning in that class. Since I missed the first day in that class, I was confused about his policies, and assignments. I didn't turn in about 2 homework assignments because of that, but the thing is I'm not sure if he even graded those. They were all just these small objects that we created, and viewed on the projector. They all seemed like they were just practice. As far as the projects go, which were 2, I had the best ones in the class so I know I got A's on those. I also got perfect scores on the mid-term, and final. Everything basically rests on his grading scale/policy, and whether or not he counted those little practice things. It would suck if I got a B in that class because I ended up learning the program very well, and I did great stuff in there from the middle to the end. I just had a rough start because I got sick at the beginning of the quarter.
I saw Batman, last night. I liked it. There were some parts, such as his training, where I had to look at the movie as if it stood alone, instead of being a prequel. You can't help imagining Michael Keaton going through ninja training as you are watching it. I'm sorry, but that just did not happen. Fortunately, I am not someone who is very biased, while watching movies, and I am able to accept things, and either laugh about it or just say "That's kind of cool," based on the scene, visuals or whatever. Oh, and is it my stroke or weren't there two guys at the scene of Bruce's parents' deaths in the first Batman? I believe there were!! The Joker shot them, and the other guy ran off as he called out his name and said "Come on!" or something like that. Why is that so hard to remake? I could give a rats ass about what he looked like in the new movie. He's obviously going to look different than the guy who played the part in the 80's, but could you not put a second guy in there, running off? Anyway, I just thought that was a bit strange. Hmmm...what else? Cillian Murphy--YUMMAYYYY!!! I LOVED the hallucinogen stuff, especially when Batman did it to Scarecrow, and he looked like a fucking Batman from hell. Hehe. Katie Holmes--she had nipplage in the end. Poor Bruce is always falling for women who have a lot of bullshit excuses not to keep seeing him. The biggest relief for me was the fact that they left all of that corny ass comic book shit behind, and they made a real movie that just happened to have comic book characters in it. That's the way it should be. It was like that in the first 2, it worked, and it should have stayed like that. I still like...what was it?...Batman Returns with Jim Carrey because I guess I just liked his character. That was still sort of the beginning of the downward spiral, though. The one after that blew chunky-ass, wet dog food. Ok, that was my Batman story.

Before Batman, Brian and I got crunked at Ruby Tuesday, which is conveniently right by Muvico. Before Ruby Tuesday, we went to Best Buy, and I bought Kinsey. The good version is wayyy too expensive, I must say. Before Best Buy (why am I going backwards?), we went to Toki Sushi on Dale Mabry. We've been there once before. I still think I like Tomo Sushi on Bearss the best. It's also right down the street from me. So that was it--sushi, Best Buy, crunked, Batman. Then I went back to my sister's house, and went to bed around 5 a.m. I set the alarm for 12. Today, I got up, and packed my stuff, which didn't take that long because I didn't bring much at all. I knew I wasn't staying that long, and I didn't want to spend an enormous amount of time packing, like I did last time. Now, I'm home. I wonder when my sister is getting back. I don't think I've ever been there when they return. I always leave before they get back. I hope they don't take that the wrong way.
I'm home at the moment. I thought I'd come back to see if any mail came for me. I wonder what I should do on my last night at my sister's house. It went by so fast. I got there late on Thursday so that wasn't much. Friday was my first full day/night there. I saw Land of the Dead. It was humorous and gross. Lots of goofy stuff and things being ripped apart. Maybe I'll see Batman tonight. War of the Worlds comes out next Friday. Eeeeeeee!!! I don't know how I'm going to be up in time for my sister's return. Checkout time is usually 11 or 12, and they only went to Naples, which isn't that far away. They will probably be back around 2, if they decide to stop and eat somewhere. I will have to set my alarm. School is fucking over!! 2 weeks off, bitch!!! It still hasn't settled in, and probably won't until Monday. Oh, I watched Kinsey, last night. Fucking awesome!! It's on my top 10! Oh, that's right! I need to stop by Best Buy to get it, today.

The Killers are coming in August.
It's after 2 a.m., and I'm in one of the computer labs at school, still trying to figure this shit out. I have to create an animation that basically consists of a moving object. I chose to do a bowling ball knocking all the pins down. Easier said than done. The only thing that looks right is the ball rolling down the lane, until it gets to the first pin. That's where I need to know more about the program in order to be able to make it look right. What is the solution to this? GUTTER BALL!!!!!! It should be pretty funny. The gutter ball doesn't even look natural. I didn't even create a gutter because that would mean making the ball fall into it and follow the path. I swear that shit sounds so easy, but it's not. My animation should look pretty funny, though. It's just a bowling lane on top of a flat, white plane, and a bowling ball rolls down it, until it gets to the first pin. Then it slows down and hauls ass to the left. It looks like it's gets scared of the pins, and rolls away. I wish I knew how to add sound to this. At least it would look like I was purposely trying to make a humorous animation. I've been in here since 11, trying to figure out things like that. I also tried to figure out how to make the ball explode when it hits the first pin. I found tutorials for it, but it's out of my league. The one really good thing about my animation is the texture of everything. My lane, ball, and pins look very realistic because I used real images of these things to create the texture. See.I'm turning my animation into a .mov file now. It takes about 8 minutes. This must be the 4th time I've done it because I'm never happy with the angle of the view.

I'm the only one in here now. Creepy. I should stop by my house on the way back to my sister's house to pick my 3D Modeling book. My teacher told us to bring it, which means he's probably giving us final exam. All of his quizzes and exams have been open book, and we can even ask him what chapter to look in for each question. Well, at least I did. He even came over, turned the pages for me, and pointed out the paragraphs where I would find the answers. He kicks so much ass!

Is this shit done yet???
I have some shitty news about my stay at my sister's house. The last time I was there, I had that problem with the home theater system on my last night. When I pushed the "off" button, which shuts down the entire thing, the battery in the remote died instantly. Without the remote, you are screwed. They have another remote, which might be some kind of universal, which you can use to change the channel on the tv but that's it! You can't turn the power on or off, and you can't adjust the volume. You have to do that manually. This whooooole thing is all because of one fucking battery. Of course, it's not just a AA battery. It's some weird thing that my brother-in-law has not been able to find. At first I was like "Oh, well I'll just go pick one up somewhere, while you guys are gone," but then he said that he has practically been all over Tampa, looking for one of these things. No place carries them. I guess the only way to get a replacement is to order one from the manufacturer. I wish I had asked my sister for the name of the battery. Then I would have come home, and done a search myself. Another thing is they have a replacement battery, but my sister lost it. They have no idea where it is. This whole thing is driving me crazy because it's one of those things you feel so close to solving, but you're not quite there. My brother-in-law said he would call the manufacturer, tomorrow morning, and talk to them about it, but I have a strong feeling that he will forget. They are leaving around 2 p.m., and they haven't even packed yet so I think the tv will be the last thing on their minds. I just can't believe they have let this go on for so long. Oh, I left out the part about the dvd player. Oops. So far, I've been making this sound like the on/off thing and the volume are the only problems. Well, their theater equipment is like a system. If you want to watch a dvd, you press that button, and it not only turns the dvd player on, but it also puts the tv in the correct video mode. That's the part that screws you. My sister said they've tried getting a dvd to work on their own. You can turn on the player and everything, but they have no idea how to manually get the tv on the right mode. I will be determined to find this out. The problem is if they don't have a remote particularly for that tv, then I don't think it's possible. It's not like you just have to put in on channel 4. It's some weird Aux/Video/Component thing that gets the tv to a blue screen, and it says "DVD" at the upper left corner. So, that's the whole shitty deal.

On a second note, I felt incredibly horrible, tonight, at my sister's house. I went over there around 9 p.m. to get the house key and the garage door opener. I planned on going to school right after because I didn't want to be in the computer lab all night trying to finish my project on the night before it's due, which is Friday. I didn't think that would be a problem because my sister and her family can never make it past 11....at least most of the time. Well, tonight, they made it until 1:30 a.m. I ended up staying over there, and hanging out. Anyway, after my sister gets back from Naples, she is going to her in-laws' other house in North Carolina for a week, and she wanted me to go with her. The only thing that was keeping me from going was the weather. I know they are going to be outside 24/7, and that is not on my priority list when it's fucking 80 degrees, not to mention the fact that I burn easily. They have all these outdoor things planned, including hiking. I'm just not down for that. I did all that stuff the last time I was there, and it was ok, but it was not something that I would look forward to doing again. This was a long time ago, and I don't even have the right kind of shoes for stuff like that. I would just be miserable, if we did stuff like that the whole time. So...somehow, my sister got it in her head that I wanted to go. This is not true. The last time I was at her house, which was just a few days ago, I told her that I would like to go with her, but I didn't know what I would do up there the whole time. I also explained to her my deal with being outside in this current weather. I thought I got my point across pretty clearly. I also said that I would rather go in the winter time, perhaps on my winter break from school. Well, I think she heard all of that, but the only thing that stuck in her mind was "I would like to go with you." I didn't know about this, until I went to lunch with my Mom the day after I was at my sister's house. She told me that she had a conversation with my sister, and she said she was talking as if I was going with her. Then, when I got up, today, there was a message on my machine from my sister, and she kept saying things like "our trip to the mountains," and "I need to get our stuff together." I kept hoping that she just meant their stuff, and their trip, not mine. When I was at her house, tonight, she and her husband were talking about getting lost, reading maps, and stuff like that, and my sister told him not to worry about it because she would have her co-pilot (me) with her. That confirmed it. Then I told her (again) that I wasn't sure I wanted to go or not. She looked at me all confused, and just said "....Oh...?" I felt so horrible because, at that point, I knew she had definitely thought I was going this whole time, since she got confused, and I know she was looking forward to it. I started considering going just to make her happy, but my breaks from school only come every 11 weeks. I can't plan my time off; I have to wait for it, and I have to make the best of it. Doing the things they were going to do was not the way I wanted to spend my break. I also don't think I will have any sanity left after being in a car with 3 very young kids for over 9 hours. They are also stopping in Atlanta to stay with her Dad, before finishing the drive to North Carolina. This is her Dad, not mine. For me, that is really awkward. I've only met her Dad a couple times. I know what he looks like, but I don't know much about him other than the fact that he has never wanted anything to do with me, since I'm not his son. That whole thing is just so weird for me. "Hi, I'm the kid that your ex-wife had with another man, after you two were divorced, and now I'm going to stay in your house." As far as the car ride goes, I've done that before. Yes, the kids were younger then, and you would think the ride would be easier now, since they've gotten older, but that's not true. In fact, it might be worse. Before, it was annoying because I was dealing with screaming babies, and bottle-feeding them in the car. Now, I'm dealing with screaming kids because they are fighting with each other. My sister is very tolerant, and she handles that stuff so well. I'm sure she's used to it by now, too. I would go fucking nuts. I can barely be over there one night with them screaming at each other.

Ok, that's my book on everything. It looks like I will be going to school, tomorrow, to finish my project after all. I mainly didn't want to do that because I would rather be at my sister's house than in a computer lab. Oh well. I'm not sure if my sister is going to call me, tomorrow, to ask me once more if I was going on the trip with her. If she doesn't call, then she's going to have to wait until the day before she leaves to ask me, which is cutting it close. She told me she needed to know my answer because it will change a lot of things.
I added pictures of my project to my last post.
I'm done with my most time-consuming classes!!! I am soooo happy!! Last night sucked!! I had to bust my hump to get my photography project done. I didn't start it until 11 p.m., which gave me 7 hours to take photos, choose 12, photoshop each one, crop them, cut them out, and mount them. It took the entire 7 hours and then some. I thought I'd be late for sure. I was ready by 7:30, which is my cut off time. It's basically the final time that has a possibility of me being on time. Then my school ID was nowhere to be found. That didn't make any sense. I specifically remember putting it on my bookbag, right before I put my iPod on it. When I went to put it on, my iPod was there, but no ID. I started freaking out because I had just blown my chances of being on time. 10 minutes went by, and I decided to make myself a fake ID. Haha! IADT school ID's have a hole punched in them, and they are worn around the neck. I got my old HCC ID, punched a hole in it, and put it on an extra string thingy that I happened to have. It worked like a charm. It didn't hurt that I was carrying 3 things either. I just pretended to be having a hard to carrying things as I walked in, just in case the guard would be a bitch and notice the ID being a bit different. I knew those chances were extremely slim, but I wasn't taking any chances, today, with a final project due. After I got past the guard, I put the ID in my pocket. So, back to my project. Last night, I finally decided to do my project on Godiva Liqueur. I knew Liquor Depot had big sizes, and little sample sizes. I bought a big size of the white chocolate, and two samples of different, regular chocolate kinds. Brian was a big help with this project. He held lights for me, and helped me cut out the photos after I printed them. After I was done, I thought the photos looked ok. I didn't think they were anything great, but I didn't think they were awful either. I thought for sure that people would notice that I did this project at the very last minute. Well, it seems like whenever I think things like that, I end up being totally wrong. I have never gotten such a positive reaction from people. The only other time that comes close is my first photography project (the flower ad). As tough as my teacher is, she said that she loved my photos, and thought the way I photograph things is fantastic. A lot of people in my class have trouble thinking of different angles to shoot things. That's where I am creative, and that was such a big part of this project, since we had to do 12 shots of the same product. People said that I was a natural, and had done great things all quarter long. Even people who never say a word in class gave me props. Before I left class for the last time, my teacher came up to me, shook my hand, and said that I had done great work in the class. I hope I see her around the school because I really like her. She has a very unique and charming personality. I will probably upload the best of the 12 photos for all to see. I'm pretty sure that some of my work will be hanging on the walls of the school by next quarter. They always put up new stuff over the break, which starts next week.

Now all I have to complete is my 3D Modeling project. I don't mind that at all. I'm already half done, and I know what I have to do to finish it. I will probably go back to school tonight or tomorrow to work on it. Tomorrow, I have to go to my sister's house to pick up the key to the house and the garage door opener. Then I will go back over there on Thursday to stay until Sunday.

I talked to my Mom on the way home from school. Then I decided to go to Publix, before going home. When I got home, I ate, watched tv for awhile, and passed out on the couch. I was asleep for almost 5, which is surprising because the couch isn't really comfortable. I was exhausted, though.

The Scissor Sisters DVD is fantastic! The ending is a blast, and some nudity every now and then doesn't hurt at all. They also perform "It Can't Come Quickly Enough," which they didn't at the Orlando show. I was so pissed about that. It just happens to be my favorite song. Even before they performed it on the DVD, Jake said "Now we're going to do a little number that isn't done very often." Why the hell is that??? Fucking play it...always!! The DVD also has a really good featurette about them, which is basically them telling their life story, and it shows a lot of old footage of the things they used to do. It was very informative, and it wasn't one of those kinds that leaves you feeling jipped. It also has one of the best interactive menus I've ever seen. Very creative.

Here are 5 photos that I thought were good


The last one is my favorite, and it's the one I used for the ad I had to create. For the ad, I didn't use any extra text. The picture alone is an ad because it already has the brand name in it, and there is no extra info needed.